Becoming Friends with Grief

Grief is one of the most misunderstood companions on our healing journey.

Many of us have been taught to treat grief like an unwanted guest. Something to suppress, avoid, ignore, fight off, or rush past. We fear its intensity, its unpredictability, and the way it seems to take over without warning. Even when we experience good grief, grief that comes from growth, positive changes, and accomplished goals, we may still find ourselves in a stance of resistance.

But what if grief isn’t the enemy we’ve made it out to be?

What if grief is the very companion we need on the road to finding healing, peace, and acceptance?

Becoming friends with grief doesn’t mean liking it, as it’s true grief can be messy, hard, draining, uncomfortable, exhausting, and confusing (very unlikeable of you, grief!). But instead, it means respecting its role in the healing process. Respecting that it teaches us about impermanence, appreciation, surrender, resilience, and transformation.

We befriend grief by allowing it to sit with us, and allowing ourselves to sit with it. To cry when the wave hits. To rest when we feel hollow. To slow down when a scent, song, item, or location takes us back in time. To feel when the pain is present. To honor what mattered when the memories start to flood in. To speak out loud the names, the memories, and the truths of what was lost.

Befriending grief is recognizing that it’s presence is exactly what is needed when we carry loss.

When we treat grief like an unwanted guest, it lingers longer and louder. But when we make space for it, it begins to transform. It begins to walk us through the loss instead of pulling us under.

Let grief be your companion, not your enemy. Let it reveal to you what needs to be felt, honored, and released.

If you're navigating grief, know that this work is tender and you don't have to do it alone. Schedule a 15-minute consultation to explore if grief support might be a helpful next step.