4 Ways to Reparent Yourself Right Now

Reparenting yourself is the process and practice of giving yourself what you did not adequately and consistent receive in childhood from your parents and/or caregivers. It’s becoming the safe, responsive, and loving parent to yourself that you always needed.

This doesn’t have to involve blame or mean that your parents were horrible people. But it does acknowledge that parents are human, and may have missed a step or two. And for others, it may absolutely mean you experienced your parents as horrible people, and you now need to be the parent to yourself you never had.

Reparenting includes several pillars such as emotional regulation, joy, self-awareness, empowerment, self-care, nurturing, loving discipline, boundary setting, self-containment — and truly so much more. This is the process of unlearning destructive or ineffective beliefs and behaviors, and relearning and practicing new ones that supports your growth, healing, and self-worth — and learning to tend to your needs with urgent, loving care. While reparenting yourself is a process, here’s how you can start today.

Set boundaries

Boundary setting is an incredibly important practice to implement at all times —especially while you are reparenting yourself. This is how you protect yourself and your inner child from further harm.

Start by listening to your emotions and your body. Feelings and bodily sensations of anger, resentment, annoyance, anxiety, or exhaustion are often indicators that a boundary is needed, or is being crossed. If your sensing this, then take inventory of the relationships and spaces where this applies. Choose one area to prioritize and start there. Reflect on ways to express your needs and consider the most appropriate time to communicate.

Remember, setting boundaries is not about making demands or controlling others. It’s how you inform others how to be in relationship with you, so you both may have a mutually fulfilling connection. Boundary setting is an act of self-respect, advocacy, and emotional safety. And you are absolutely worthy of that.

Tend to your physical needs

Gently bring awareness to your body in this moment. Just tune into your breath. As you soften into your body, what do you notice? Are you thirsty? Grab a beverage or take a sip of water. Hungry? Have a nourishing meal or snack. Tired? Take a nap or close your eyes for a brief meditation. Cold? Adjust the temperature or grab a cozy blanket. The goal is to practice responding to your cues that communicate a need is active.

Tending to your needs with urgent loving care trains your mind and nervous system to know that you are important and worth taking care of. A message that may not have been received growing up.

Validate your feelings

Your emotions are valid, because they’re yours. Emotions are human nature and you will experience a range of emotions throughout your lifetime — so learning how to listen, validate, name, regulate, and respond to your emotions is an incredibly important pillar to reparenting yourself.

Which emotions are you feeling at this moment? Can you pause and simply name them? Without judgement? Can you validate what you are feeling right now?

Validating your emotions sounds like naming them without criticism or dismissiveness, expanding your tolerance to various emotions so you can learn how to lovingly sit with them, practicing self-compassion, and trusting yourself to tend to your emotional needs.

Spark your play

Play is an essential pillar to reparenting yourself — and childlike energy is playful, curious, lighthearted, and joyful. Schedule an activity today that puts you in that mode. Play can look like many different things. Play can look physical like a game of tennis or dancing around in your living room to your favorite playlist. It can look creative like painting or building something with your hands. (I love DIY clay crafts!) It can look imaginative like creative writing or getting lost in a puzzle. The goal is to give yourself permission to experience pleasure with no strings attached.

Continue your reparenting journey by downloading our free 21-day reparenting journal below. It’s a simple way to keep showing up for the little you — one day at a time.